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Thursday, January 12, 2012

I hate you - chapter 5.

The day of the big game was getting closer, and I met Josh every day since we got together. I feel like I already fell in love with him. Our relationship was drama-free, but still very passionate. If I was superstitious I would not say this, because our relationship is still very immature.  Still, I was the only one within a group of friends who did not have issues with the love life. I was listening to Deb and Chels the whole day and they were telling me different problems and we were working on solutions, but I kept myself quiet about my life, it would not be fair showing how happy I am while they were all suffering.

I still had the issue with Holly, she got more stubborn, than ever. I don't know what is in her mind, I tried to start conversations with her several times, but no luck, I received a Yes/No answer. After a while I decided that whenever she is ready to talk to her favorite and only sister, she will come to me, I am sure about that.

I would be lying to myself  if I did not know that all my tension with Holly started when Josh came in the picture. I mean I cannot say that I spend less time with my sister, but I do have different priorities now. During family dinners she still kept talking, but never to me. I got sick of all the tension, but when I thought about HIM, everything seemed to be better.

Not like the things with Nate. - things got out of hand when the day after the movie night I attended the practice as a visitor. In a break he came to me and practically kicked me out of the gym, because he was afraid that I was going to spill the tactics to the enemy. Gosh, can someone be that childish, really?
So I left school for that day and I used my afternoon for a quality time X-mas shopping in the plaza.

When Josh ended his practice, we met downtown and had a romantic stroll. We talked about X-mas and we agreed that we would not buy anything to each other, because we hardly know what present the other would be happy for.

The rest of the evening we spent sitting on the couch at home and talking to mom and dad. We were laughing a lot and had a great time. Of course, my sister did not even bother to come down and say hello to him. But now I don't care.

The game day was the next day. On Friday morning I woke up a bit upset, I felt a lot of tension in me. It will be more than unusual that my best friend will play against my boyfriend.

I am sure Josh would not mind that I will be cheering for my school, not his and I put on a school t-shirt. I remember the first day we met a couple of days ago during practice, he accepted me being in a different team. He would not want me to not be myself. And telling the truth, neither would I. We are all grown-ups.

Today passed really fast, because everyone was excited for the big game. When I approached the stadium of the College, I could already see from the number of cars in the parking lot and the cheering noises, that the day has finally come.

I could immediately see mom, dad and Holly on the rows of my College, the Hornets' people were cheering from the opposite side. I did send a wave to my family, better to do it now when hardly anyone can see it, than do it when the game is on and it can be embarrassing. I looked at my little sis, and I could tell even from this distance that she wants to be anywhere else but here. I was still sitting at the VIP section with the other floorball players who did not make the team and the dean, the teachers, right on the first row.

I looked through our row and I could already see the dean sitting in the middle, his face showing great enthusiasm, next to him were the girls sitting, but no one sat next to me, and it was good. I did not want to get disturbed by gossiping girls pointing at the boys and quarreling who is the most good-looking. No, I did not have time to do this, I had to concentrate 100% on the game. My other reason of sitting isolated is that whenever Josh is scoring or giving an assist, I would be cheering and happy for him. This is mother nature. I do give credit when it is due. Not only for Josh, but for any players.

The mass was more than excited and could not wait for the game to start and the teams to finally start practicing on the field. After a couple of minutes they got on board and they were practicing scoring, attachking, defending on each part of the field. Fortunately the mass came to support and not to hate, it was funny that whenever our cheerleaders started the school anthem, the Hornets' cheerleaders did the same. I was looking for Sonie among the players and I could see her, she was smiling at me and I sent her a thumbs up. She looked very happy and excited, I cannot blame her, the atmosphere of the stadium is more than motivating.

The teams were ready to play and the referee beckoned the two captains Jared and Josh. They both shook hands and flipped a coin to decide which team will start the game. It was our turn.

The players stood in a circle and the last warnings and tactics were discussed, then they left their coach and all stood in their position, ready, everyone looking at their captain. Silent hand signals started to show the coding of the next actions and the game started. I would bore everyone if I told about every single moment the players spent on the field. So let's just say that our attacks were very promising, but the Hornets's too. Our only issue was with defense, as long as the defenders were blocking the ball successfully, but when it got close to ouor goalkeeper, Nate, he seemed to be in biiig trouble. He did not block every angle, always behind a defenders which is senseless, because the defender should cover that angle. We were that bad that we received a shoot but fortunately it was not a goal.

After the fist period was over, there was a 0:0 draw and except Sonie's and Jared's attack and that Hornet's shoot on the goalpost, nothing notable happened. The Hornets started to leave the field while my team was still discussing together in a circle. The coach ran to the field and they discussed what happened during the period. While the Hornets was already heading to the locker room, Josh was coming closer to me, waving with his stick and I waved him back happily. It all took a second and I am sure people did not notice it and no one has ever come to me saying that I am playing both sides, except Nate. Any other people can use their brain, but not him.

I did not even leave my seat during the break between the period, because I had nothing to do with the team, the coach and their internal only discussions. So I was watching them from a distance. The referee approached the coach and told something to him then they all left the field and headed to the locker room. So it is not allowed to stay on the field during breaks, because the cheerleaders need the space. I stood up to reach Sonie and hugged her quickly but she had to rush to the locker room. Nate was the last one to past next to me and he looked at me with eyes that it looked like he practically killed me.

I decided to go and buy some pretzels, there was a queue, but still, as the students were serving the food, the queue was dissolved fast. I headed back to the grand stand and I got close to the locker room and I could see Nate and the coach standing away the team. I past them but after a couple of seconds I heard him shouting at the coach and the coach replying back that if he does not start to do his job, he will be substituted. Nate was really pissed. He left the corridor in a rush and I was not surprised that someone bumped at me from the back - of course him. I did not even bother turning back, I just concentrated on getting back to my seat. He approached the field, the only one there so far. He beckoned another player from the bench and they started practicing together: Nate standing at the post and the guy imitating an attack. He seemed very determined, concentrating fully on defending his post.

After a couple of minutes everyone was at the field and the referee asked the extra player to get out of the field, because the second period is about to start. Everyone was waiting for the whisper. Hornets started the second period and they immediately attacked. Josh dodged himself right till our last defender, and he almost managed to get the ball from Josh, but he passed it in the last minute to another Hornets player coming in the center. It was a fabulous team play. The guy in the center scored. 1:0. Even Nate could not save it. The ball was so fast, that he could only get his fingertips on it. Nate was furious, this was such a once in a lifetime goal, that I am sure that the Hornets guy won't ever repeat it. I jumped from my seat because the whole action Hornets made was fabulous. I was really happy that Josh had an assist. That was the moment when I saw Nate looking at me angrily. Then I realized that I should be sitting back on my seat, because it was my team who got the goal.


After the goal our coach immediately had a time out. It was really unusual, but maybe he just wanted the team to get the motivation back before it is too late. That goal we received was really not Nate's fault, and our team needs some confidence. My team stood in a circle and the coach started to give out the instructions. After the 1 minute was up, the teams were getting back to the field, but our coach beckoned Nate from the field and talked to him. I was worried for a second and I did have my reasons, I could see Nate's face turning angry and Jones standing up from the bench, rushing to the post. He got substituted. It is one thing that I usually hate him, but I am in sports too, so I do not believe that it was fair from the coach to substitute him. I felt sorry for Nate. He should have got another chance.

I was rushing to catch him, because I saw that he left the field angrier than ever. As I followed him I saw him throwing the scrum cap very hard on the floor. I decided i had to go after him before he does something stupid. I took his scrum cap from the floor and followed him. On my way to the locker room I found his knee cap as well, now I had 2 of his belongings with me. I caught him finally at the locker room. He was standing facing the wall and constantly hitting the wall with his right fist.


  • Nate, I am sorry - I said. I was out of idea, what to say in this situation. I know a lot about boys and pride, but I wanted him to feel better. I stepped closer while I put his scrum cap and the knee-cap on the bench.
  • You are not sorry for anything Allison! - he retorted back. He turned his face toward me, his green eyes patrolling my face.
  • I really am sorry, you did not deserve to be a substitute. That goal was not your fault! - I tried to stay calm, now that he seemed to be loosing his temper.
  • I don't need your pity. - he snarled back and then added: - Go and hug your little Josh and give him the deserved kisses for the assist. How many does he get for an assist, 1 or 2? - he got angrier.
  • Nate, leave it! - I shouted now. - What the hell is your problem with the world? Just tell me, please, because I am sick of all these fights and tension! - I was still shouting.
  • My issue is not with the world, Allison, it is with you! - he said. I was shocked when I heard that. After I regained my logic, I said:
  • Can you please fucking tell me what is your issue with me? And I can't accept it is Josh, because our fights have started way more earlier he came into the picture!!!!! I came here to say something nice, to console you and you.. you just keep being yourself. But why am I surprised? - now I kept my voice low and I turned my back at him and headed to the door.

But then he reached for my arm and he turned me around. I could feel sparks right where he touched me. I looked at him not knowing what he wants. Maybe he did not know it either. His eyes still showed anger.
  • Let go of me - I said sharply when I felt his arm still holding mine.

To my surprise he stopped holding my hand without a word. I looked at him and I said him calmly:

  • Look, Nate, this is not going to work. We can never be friends. No matter what my little sis and Tommy are trying to do, I will always hate you and you will hate me too. But I am done with the tension and the fights, you know?! I do not have the strength for these fights anymore. I really don't. - I said calmly and tried to make a second attempt to leave the room.

Why am I not surprised that he grabbed me again?! I slowly turned to his direction and I realized how close he was to me. And what happened from here was all in slow motion. He got closer, I could see a glint in his eyes and anger. Yes, he was still angry. We were so close now that his breath brushed my face. I was surprised and confused. But it seems that I am still unable to read his face.

His hands slowly touched my waist and he got me even closer, our bodies touched and I only realized it now what he wanted. But I stood there still, I could not move, he melted me. His touch, his actions and this whole situation melted me.

He did not keep his eyes off me, even when I started to look down at my shoes and then at his hands resting on my waist. But then I looked up, I felt his breathing racing, and I have to admit, mine was too. As we stood there looking at each other I could only see that his eyelids are slowly closing and his lips gently touched mine. To my surprise my traitorous lips let him in. I could not find an acceptable reason, but in this moment I felt like the most natural thing kissing him back. His tongue started to circle over my lips, and Iet it in immediately. We were savouring each other and our tongues were playing with each other.

When we were both out of breath, we immediately got taken aback. I went to the opposite wall, looking at him from there. We were both catching our breath. You could definitely feel the tension.

And this was the moment when Sonie and the team entered the room, Sonie looked at me immediately, I cannot imagine what she thought why we are on 2 different corners of the same room, catching our breath.
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